


science, love, and other miracles of the universe

by WiseBlondeHunter



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Canon Divergent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Not Canon Compliant, SHIELD still exists, Slow Burn, like seriously this pretends civil war like never happened
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-06-28 00:54:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15696849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WiseBlondeHunter/pseuds/WiseBlondeHunter
Summary: Hayden Alexander is a brilliant young woman stuck in a waitressing job with student debt weighing her down. That is, until The Avengers step foot in her diner and open up her world.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hoo boy. this has been in the works for over a year and now we're finally here folks. i really hope you like it as it was a labor of love. let me know what you think in the comments!

The diner was called Maria’s Kitchen; it was situated on a street corner between two gray buildings with its bright red neon sign making it stick out like a sore thumb. Long windows spanned both sides of the storefront showing off a red and white interior decked out in 50s memorabilia. It was open 24/7 which made it a perfect spot for Avengers coming home from missions that needed a greasy breakfast.

When Steve and Natasha stepped inside, the first thing they noticed was that the music playing was not old or classic but very clearly one of Rihanna’s new hits. The staff was also surprising. Three women, no older than their 20s, were the only ones in the store besides them. The hostess was 18, max. Their waitress, although decked out in a red dress and white apron, wore black lipstick and had lavender hair. It was an odd but nice blend of vintage and modern.

Two weeks had passed since they started frequenting Maria’s Kitchen, always being sat at the same table with the same waitress. Her name was Hayden, she was 25, and she had a biting wit that Tony never seemed to get enough of.

Natasha and Steve were there on their own, sipping on coffee while Hayden leaned against the counter with a book. She dog-eared her page and grabbed a coffee pot from behind the counter. “So what are your names? I have a feeling you two are gonna be coming here pretty often,” she asked as she sauntered over.

They exchanged looks before Steve looked up at the girl. “I’m Steve. This is Tasha.”

“Nice to meet you, Steve and Tasha. I’m Hayden,” she said as she stuck her hand out for Steve to shake. Hayden was a nice girl and, from what Natasha could glean from the books she pored over, pretty smart. Did she seriously not recognize them?

Regardless of that oddity, it soon became a hangout spot for the Avengers. Hayden became a friend rather than just a waitress. She traded anecdotes and stories with them and bemoaned her college classes. Her and Natasha got along famously; her and Steve got along even better. If she ever found any of their antics unbearable, she never showed it.

On a particularly rainy night, it was only Steve that sat in the booth, reading a book and nursing a coffee. “Need a refill?” He looked up to see Hayden standing over him with a coffee pot. They were the only two in the house besides the hostess who was playing on her phone.

“Nah, but I’ll take the check.” Hayden nodded and smiled.

Hayden had recently dyed her hair. Now it was a fiery red color, setting off her green eyes and freckled skin. Steve thought it suited her much more than purple.

“You’re not gonna seriously walk home in this mess, are you?” Hayden asked as she returned, jerking her chin towards the window. Rain beat on the glass, relentless in its rhythm. Hayden was right; it was a mess out there. “I can give you a lift home if you want.”

Steve looked back up at Hayden in shock. Her face was open and honest. “Oh no, that’s… that’s not necessary.”

“Steve, c’mon. I’d do it for any of my friends. You and your book will get soaked and I’ll be damned if I let a book get ruined,” she said with her hands on her hips. Hayden always carried an air about her that made her seem a lot stronger than she looked. Although he was almost a foot taller than her, Steve wouldn’t want to go toe to toe with her any time soon.

He cracked a smile and nodded. “That’d be great. Far be it from me to refuse a lady.”

Five minutes later, Hayden had her coat and an umbrella, both black. They half ran to her car as the rain beat down on them. Giggling, they settled into their seats and Hayden started up the car. “Where do you live?” Steve told her the address and watched her punch it into her phone. The screen illuminated her face, its harsh light casting odd shadows.

As he looked on, he noticed that Hayden’s phone screen was cracked on the top half. “Wow, can you even use that thing? It looks broken,” he said, cocking an eyebrow. She chuckled and shook her head.

“It’s not broken, it’s just a little cracked. It’s cute. It adds character.” Hayden shrugged as she set her phone in her lap and started up her car.

The drive back to Steve’s apartment was filled with conversation and laughter and warmth. Hayden kept tapping her fingers along to whatever song was playing. Music seemed to follow her everywhere.

As they drove, Steve noticed that the wind was batting the car around the road. “Why don’t you come in? The wind is getting out of hand.” Hayden hesitated, staring out the windshield. She stayed silent for so long that Steve was about to retract the offer but she nodded. She exited the car, running for the awning.

When they got up to his apartment, he realized that he had forgotten to put anything away. “Oh, sorry, let me get this out of the way,” he said, picking up a basket of clean clothes left on the couch. When he returned, Hayden was standing over the coffee table, examining his shield. After a battle, he’d returned and let it fall there to collapse into bed.

He realized that all through their late night discussions he never actually told her that he was Captain America. The look on Hayden’s face as her eyes traced over the shield was something he’d only seen a few times; it was the look she took on when she was analyzing something. She reached down and tapped on it with the tips of her fingers before tracing the star in the center.

“That’s cool,” she said, putting her hands back in her pockets, before wandering over to his bookshelf. Steve faltered for a second.

“It’s, uh, it’s the real thing. I should’ve mentioned it-” Hayden nodded.

“I know.”

“You know?”

“Yeah,” she said, turning with a smile on her face. “You think I don’t notice that the Avengers come into my restaurant three times a week? That Captain America comes in more than that?” Hayden shrugged and rocked on her heels. “I just don’t care. You guys are still people.” With that simplistic statement, she turned and knelt down to get a closer look at the books on the lower shelves.

Steve felt something warm start to form in his chest. So what if he had started going in more often than his teammates? He just really liked their coffee.  _ Yeah, Steve. You like the coffee,  _ a voice snickered in his head. It sounded suspiciously like Natasha.

“Can I offer you anything? Coffee, anything to eat?” Hayden shook her head, looking around the room.

“Nah, I don't want to be a burden.” She shrugged and moved closer. “I’m glad that I could help you out though. Let me know if you ever need another ride.” Steve felt a bizarre urge to reach out and touch her.

“I will. Thank you for that, I appreciate it,” he said, keeping his hands at his sides. Two minutes later, she had driven away and his apartment felt empty.

 

\---

 

“Rogers, SHIELD doesn't pay you enough for how much coffee you keep getting,” Tony called from across the room. Steve had just come back from a coffee run for the gang and was holding two drink trays for everyone.

“I don't get that much.”

“No, but you tip Hayden almost 100% of the bill every time.” His cheeks turned a bit pink as he shook his head and tried to stammer out a rebuttal.

Natasha called to Tony, “Steve just has a crush. He needs to put his big girl panties on and tell her.” She shrugged and flashed him a smirk over her cup, her green eyes dancing. Her eyes weren't as pretty as Hayden’s, Steve thought. They weren't as vibrant.

“I can always take that coffee back,” he said. Natasha stuck her tongue out at him.

“I’d like to see you try.”

“My money’s on Natasha!” Wanda called from the opposite side of the room. As they all started debating, music started flowing throughout the room in tandem with the laughter and chatter. Bucky reached over and ruffled his best friend’s hair.

“So you have a thing for that waitress?” Steve cocked an eyebrow at him and laughed. Both men tuned back into the group conversation. They were all laughing about something or other and it warmed Steve’s heart to see them all getting along for once.

_ “Sir, you have a visitor,”  _ FRIDAY said from a speaker in the ceiling.

“Name?” Tony asked.

_ “Hayden Alexander.” _

Tony’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. “Let her in!” Steve straightened up in anticipation and Natasha reached up to fix something with his hair. Although she looked very casual, he could see her eyes dancing with laughter.

A few moments later, Hayden walked into the room. She looked markedly different. Gone was the bright red uniform and white apron. In its place, she wore a black romper and Doc Martens.

“Nice to see you again, Hayden,” Banner said, waving at her. She smiled at him and focused on Steve.

“You left your wallet. I figure it's kind of important.” Steve nodded and stood to take it from her.

“You didn't need to bring it all the way over here.”

“That's alright. I was uh… in the neighborhood anyway.” She ducked her head but not before everyone saw the blush spreading over her cheeks.

“You want a drink while you’re here?” Tony chimed in. He held up a glass with a light brown liquid in it. Hayden wrinkled her nose with a slight grin.

“Too late to tell you that I'm not a whiskey girl?” Her cheeks reddened even more with what might have been embarrassment. Tony shrugged and went behind the bar again.

“Whatever you want, it's here.”

“Nah, I should get going. I have class in an hour. I didn’t want you to worry about where your wallet was,” Hayden said, directing the last part at Steve. “Thank you though!” She made a hasty exit, a new spring in her step.

Everyone stared after her before turning to Steve. “What?” he asked. Natasha raised an eyebrow and smirked.

“She was in the neighborhood?” she parroted. Steve shook his head; he wasn’t understanding what she was getting at. Instead of answering when he asked her, she winked and turned back to Clint.

 

\---

 

_ “Wait, are you serious? We’re going. No debate.” _

“I don’t know. Why did he even invite me?”

_ “You’ve gotten close over the past few months.” _

“Yeah but I’m not good at parties or socializing.”

_ “He seems to think so! We’re going. I’ll be over in ten minutes.” _

Hayden stared at the card in her hands. It was an official invitation to the Tony Stark Halloween Party. She’d only ever read about the event in the news and always wished that she could go. Now all she could think of was a way to get out of it. She didn’t even have any costumes of her own. Hayden had called her best friend, Sam, to think the decision over and Sam immediately said yes. Calling her had been a mistake.

True to her word, Sam was there with a duffel bag within five minutes which might’ve been a new record. When Sam set her mind to something, nothing Hayden could do could talk her out of it.

“What did you bring?” Hayden laughed as Sam shoved her way into her apartment. It was most likely clothes. They were almost the same size with the same dimensions: big chest, narrow waist, wide hips. It made sharing clothes easy.

“I brought some stuff we could use as costumes! Of course, we could always look in your closet,” Sam said with a wink. Two hours later, Hayden and Sam had dressed to the nines and were ready to go.

Sam dressed up as a “sexy witch” (much to her best friend’s laughter) and Hayden only dressed up a little. She was wearing a pencil skirt and a crop top that wasn’t much more than a glorified bra, all in black of course. Add her Docs and black lipstick and she was good to go.

“You don’t want to actually dress up?” Sam teased. Hayden resolutely shook her head. Sam rolled her blue eyes with a smile on her face. She was never known for going all out at the best of times anyway.

The journey to Stark Tower was about twenty minutes during which Sam gushed about how excited she was and Hayden fidgeted. It wasn’t that she was nervous about the party; she was nervous about the Avengers. Over time, she’d developed feelings for a certain super-soldier but she was determined not to let it show. He was an Avenger and she was a waitress. It wasn’t anything. Just a celebrity crush, right?

_ “Miss Alexander, it’s wonderful to have you here,”  _ a soft Irish voice said as the two women stepped into the elevator.

“Thanks, FRIDAY. This is my friend, Sam Young.”

_ “I shall let Mr. Stark know you’re on your way up.”  _ Sam raised an eyebrow at her best friend and grabbed her hand. The elevator doors opened on Tony Stark standing there in a… Spiderman suit?

“Hi, Hayden,” he greeted. He pulled her into a hug and turned to introduce himself to Sam. Tony turned and put a hand on Hayden’s shoulder, guiding her to the throng of people. Now, Hayden could barely remember her own name, let alone the names of the people Tony introduced her to. It felt like there were a million people at this party and she was getting overwhelmed. She quickly excused herself from so and so who was an astrophysicist or whatever and made her way over to the bar.

“Gin and tonic, please,” she requested.

“Here, I got it,” someone said beside her, handing the bartender a five dollar bill. It was a man that was dressed like Captain America except he had dark hair instead of light. As the bartender set her drink down, she made sure to thank them. “James,” the man said with a small smile.

“I’m Hayden. So are you famous or a millionaire?” Hayden joked. James laughed and shook his head.

“Neither. I’m just a friend.”

“Oh, thank god,” Hayden sighed, slumping a bit. In response to his confused look she said, “I’m a waitress and that’s gotten me some strange looks so far.” That got a full smile. Hayden slammed her drink down her throat faster than she should have. The longer she sat there the more her mind raced and alcohol was a depressant so maybe that would fix the problem? It didn’t seem to slow down her heart or make her palms any less sweaty though.

“Nervous?” James asked, raising his eyebrows. Hayden shrugged.

“I guess you could say that.” Behind James, Hayden could see a tall, broad, very familiar person starting to approach. She panicked. “I’m gonna go dance! Wanna join me?”

“Maybe in a few minutes.” Hayden bolted onto the dance floor and into the throng of people.

“Hayden!” someone called in her ear. It was Tasha. She looked dashing in a red and gold ensemble. “I got a drink for Steve but I can’t find him! You want it?” Hayden didn’t even pause to ask what it was, she grabbed it and chugged it. Tasha’s green eyes grew wide and she laughed.

“Where’s another bar?” Hayden asked. An hour later Hayden was three drinks in and Sam was out of sight. Hayden’s drinks hit her all at once. One second she was worrying about whether or not she made a good impression on Tony’s colleagues. The next second she was only thinking about that man from earlier and dancing with him.

For the moment, however, she had Tasha. They danced together in a more promiscuous way than they should’ve. Hayden just liked to make full use of her figure when she danced and what was so wrong with that?

Someone gently put a hand on her waist and she turned to see James. “You’ve finally come to dance with me?” Hayden asked.

“Actually, my friend-” James gestured behind him to where Steve was standing.  A faint blush, hardly visible in the dim light, appeared on his cheeks for some reason.

“C’mon! One song!” Hayden shouted, dragging James into the crowd, eager to  _ not  _ be around Steve while she was drunk. James looked uncomfortable for a second before allowing himself to be swept away. It was all a blur but Hayden distinctly remembered grabbing his hands and putting them all over her.

“Hayden! C’mon!” Her attention was caught by Clint grabbing her hand and pulling her away from James. “You gotta go sit down!” Hayden giggled at James and skipped away from the crowd. She quickly found a seat at the bar and started drinking again. Her gin and tonic was gone within a matter of minutes. Clint sat beside her, looking her over.

“This isn’t what I meant when I said to go sit down.” Hayden shrugged and smirked.

“Hayden, babe, are you okay?” Sam called to her. Hayden nodded and reached to give her best friend a hug, the world spinning around her. “You’ve had way too much. Can you keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn’t keep drinking?” The last part was directed at Clint. He nodded as Hayden pouted like a child. She was twenty-five! She didn’t need a babysitter. If she woke up the next morning with a raging hangover then that was how it was. Sam never liked it when she drank that much, even before they were of legal drinking age.

“I’m heading out. Call me when you wake up?” Hayden nodded and watched Sam link arms with a man and walk towards the elevator. Guests trickled out and Hayden drank more and more, Sam’s motherly instincts be damned.

Tony came over to see her and she stood up only to immediately fall forward. “Whoa, how much did you have to drink?” Hayden shrugged and tried to straighten up. It was a hard task when the whole world was swirling around you.

“Hayden, can I talk to you?” She spun too fast and stumbled sideways into the bar.

“Hey, Steve, how’s it going?” she slurred. His stern look shifted into one of concern as she swayed back and forth.

“How drunk are you?” Hayden laughed and started swaying more in time to the music still playing. She didn’t really want to leave but she saw that no one else but the Avengers were there. Nat smirked at Hayden and raised her glass.

“Would you like to find a place to sleep tonight?” she asked.

“But I wanna keep drinking…” Hayden whined. Steve sighed and reached out to steady her. His hands were large and warm where they landed on her shoulders; she had a sudden urge to surge forwards and touch him.

“Your room would probably be best,” Nat called from across the way. Steve started for a moment but regained his composure quickly. Hayden couldn’t find it in herself to be bashful. As they started out of the main room, it became evident that Hayden couldn’t walk on her own.

“Here, let me help-”

“I got it,” Hayden mumbled right before slamming into the wall. It hurt but only a little bit. Some part of her scientist brain was trying to figure out where her center of gravity was and how far she could lean before she slammed into something. Steve steadied her again and she shouted, “I got it!”  _ Oof! _ Where did that wall come from?

“Okay, come on, Hayden. We’re not playing like this anymore.” A strong arm wound around Hayden’s waist and half lifted her off her feet. “FRIDAY, take us up.” The elevator started moving up, causing her stomach to knot up a bit. She giggled at the feeling. It was too quiet when she stopped giggling.

Hayden started half-singing, half-mumbling a song. Beside her, Steve chuckled a little bit. She finished the chorus and giggled at the sound of her own voice.

“What artist was that?” he asked, wrapping an arm around her as the elevator stopped.

“Katy Perry.”

“I’ve never heard of her.” Hayden gasped and turned to him. “I have a list of things I need to catch up on like movies, music, history.” Hayden gave another dramatic gasp and turned into him, placing her hand on his chest.

“You have a list? Let’s watch a movie!” Steve chuckled again before ordering FRIDAY to open the door to his room. Hayden skipped inside, detaching herself from Steve, and banged her shin on the coffee table. She flopped onto the couch and looked at Steve with hooded eyes. A small blush spread over his cheeks before he averted his eyes.

“You can take the bed,” Steve said.

“No, that’s your bed. I don’t wanna take it from you!” Steve crossed his arms and stared her down. She rolled her eyes and started towards the bed. Halfway there, she paused to take off her Docs. A silly thought popped into her head. She started singing Versace on the Floor, turning around to serenade Steve.

He was looking at a spot on the couch, seeming determined to not make eye contact with her. With every line of the song, he was getting redder and redder. Hayden moved closer and awkwardly stumbled around the couch and fell into Steve. “The song is really romantic in my head, I promise,” Hayden mumbled.

She tried to straighten up but ended up leaning farther into him. Whatever, he was warm anyways. “Can I kiss you?” she asked. Steve stared down at her in what was almost confusion.

“Let’s talk when you’re not drunk.” Hayden considered this, nodded, and started back towards the bed. “Good night, Hayden. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Is it alright if I take off my clothes? I mean… they’re already half off,” Hayden said as she slipped her crop top over her head. Steve abruptly whirled around so that his back was to her.

“Um, yeah, that’s fine.”

“Night-night!”


	2. Chapter 2

_ I am never touching alcohol again. This is the worst experience of my life. _

Hayden woke up with a throbbing headache and a churning stomach. She didn’t think she was going to throw up but it hurt like hell.  _ Where am I again? _

_ Oh… _

_ Oh no. _

Hayden shot up and immediately groaned at the pounding in her head. She stumbled all over Steve last night. She was a drunk mess. He had to carry her. He gave up his bed for her. She stripped. And she… oh my god, she came onto him.

Hayden took in the room around her. Her party clothes had been folded on the dresser across from the bed along with another stack of clothes. It was a t-shirt, shorts, bra, and underwear, about her size.  _ Hayden, Nat found some clothes for you so you wouldn’t have to put your old clothes back on. We’re in the main room having breakfast once you’re ready. -Steve _

Nope. No. Absolutely not. She was not facing anyone after last night. Hayden jogged over to the coffee table to grab a pen and wrote on the back of the note:  _ I apologize for my behavior last night. It was unacceptable. Thank you for your hospitality.  _ She threw on her clothes from last night and found that her phone had been plugged in on the nightstand. She ignored the bottle of water and aspirin sitting there and bolted.

_ “Do you wish to go to the main room, Miss Alexander?”  _ FRIDAY asked once she stepped in the elevator.

“No thanks. Take me to the first floor.”

_ “Do you wish for me to tell the others that you have gone?” _

“No, FRIDAY. Take me to the first floor. Don’t tell anyone that I left.” The elevator descended and as soon as the doors opened, she was off like a shot. The bright morning sun was killing her but she headed for the nearest subway entrance. Ten minutes later, she was back home and hating herself.

Oh god… this was  _ so _ embarrassing.

 

\---

 

It was three days before she saw any of the Avengers again though not for lack of trying on Tony and Nat’s part. She had texts and missed calls that she ignored. As time wore on, she had a feeling that they were tiring of her bullshit because they showed up at her work. 

“Hi, guys. Table for seven?” the hostess, Iliana, asked. She led them to the other side of the restaurant where the hustle and bustle kept Hayden out of their sight.

That is until Nat came up to the bar with crossed arms and a frown. They made eye contact when Hayden couldn’t avoid it anymore. “Oh, hi, Tasha. How are you?”

“Confused and very angry.” Hayden nodded and sucked her teeth.

“Wish I could help!” she chirped before flapping her rag and heading to the opposite end of the bar.

“Hey, doll. Can I get a coffee?” someone asked. She almost dropped the mug when she saw who it was. James, the man she had danced with, was sitting there with a slight smile.

“D-doll?” she stuttered as she slid the mug down to him.

“Well, the way we were dancing the other night-”

“Oh my god,” Hayden sighed, burying her face in her hands. Her watch beeped softly and she shot back up. “My shift is over! Bye!” She ran into the back, grabbed her bag, and ran back up to the front. James was standing in front of the exit with crossed arms.

“Where are you going?” She gave a halfhearted shrug before pushing past him. He caught her arm with surprising strength. “Can we at least talk?” She sighed and nodded, not looking at him. “I’ll meet you out at your car,” he said.

Hayden unlocked her car with shaking hands. A minute later, James was walking up to her with a bigger smile. “So where are we headed?”

 

\---

 

When Steve went up to his room to check on Hayden, she had disappeared. It sent a bolt of fear through his heart. He ran back down to the main room to find that nobody had seen where she went. It was only because of FRIDAY that he had calmed down. The AI told him that Hayden left half an hour ago and requested for her not to tell them that she had left.

Several phone calls, a few texts, and three days later, he still hadn’t seen any sign of Hayden. Now he was getting upset. Did he do something? Did someone in the tower do something? Was something wrong with her?

The Avengers visited Maria’s Kitchen in the daytime, partly in an effort to see their friend, partly because the food was to die for. Iliana, the tiny hostess, smiled at them and greeted them when they walked in. “Hi, guys. Table for seven?” she asked as she grabbed the menus.

Natasha started to move towards their usual table but Iliana was leading her in the opposite direction. She sighed a bit and followed. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Hayden bustling around taking orders.

Their waiter seemed surprised that they placed their orders immediately. They no longer needed to look at the menus to know what they wanted. The only one of them who did was Bucky but he only ordered a coffee.

Although Hayden ran past them several times with trays for other waitstaff she ignored them. Halfway through their meal, Natasha huffed and got up, marching over to the bar where Hayden was wiping down the chrome surface. Bucky was quick to follow but went to the opposite end.

From what Steve could gather not even Natasha could get her to break her silence. They both stared down at where she interacted with Bucky.

“So why is she ignoring us?” Tony asked Natasha. She didn’t look away from Bucky and Hayden as she replied.

“She wouldn’t say.” Whatever Hayden and Bucky were talking about, she was getting agitated.

“What  _ did _ she say, Nat?” Steve asked, never taking his eyes off of her.

“Nothing useful.” The group watched on as Hayden went into the back and emerged with her coat and bag. Bucky caught her arm and spoke to her. She rolled her eyes and sighed, looking resigned, before leaving the restaurant.

Bucky headed over to the table and said, “I’m going with her. I’m gonna talk to her.” A small part of Steve’s mind was whispering jealous things; he tried as hard as he could to shut that part down. He sighed and nodded. Who knows? She might actually talk to Bucky. She wasn’t talking to anyone else.

As Bucky left, Steve watched them through the window. They drove away and Steve had never felt more left in the dust.

 

\---

 

When Steve entered the main room at Stark Tower he was surprised to see Hayden and Bucky curled up on the couch together, laughing at something on TV. He couldn’t stop the swell of jealousy in his chest but he hoped his face didn’t give anything away.

“Hey, Steve!” Hayden called as Bucky hit a button on the remote. “I was just showing Bucky some good shows,” she said. Hayden stood and walked over to him. Her smile lit up the room and although her hair was in a messy bun and she looked worn down from work, she was beautiful.

_ Whoa, Rogers, where is all this coming from? _

The longer he stayed silent, the more Hayden’s face fell. Soon she was nodding and rubbing the back of her neck.

“We, uh… need to talk, huh?” she asked. “I’m sorry, Steve. Bucky told me that you didn’t like the fact that I-”

“I  _ didn’t like  _ it? It was a little more than that, Hayden. I was so worried when I came back and you were gone! I thought that someone had kidnapped you!” Hayden cringed back from him a little, still looking at the ground. Everything about her exuded nerves and anxiety from the expression on her face to the way she was twisting her fingers together. All Steve could see from his height was the top of her bright red hair. Suddenly his anger left him and he almost sagged at how much energy it was taking just to stay mad at her.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you,” he said. Hayden nodded and glanced up. It was almost like she was folding in on herself.

Steve reached out and pulled her towards him. He instinctively wrapped his arms tight around her and found that she was shaking.

“I’m sorry. I was just embarrassed.” Steve chuckled a little bit before letting her go.

“You don’t have to be. I was Bucky’s friend for years; I’ve seen way worse.”

“Hey!” he called from his place on the couch. Hayden raised an eyebrow at Bucky before turning back to Steve.

“Anyways, since I have no more reason to be embarrassed about the other night, you have a list of pop culture? Cause I have stuff to add.”

 

\---

 

Hayden started by crossing off stuff he’d already written down. She showed him the moon landing, some songs by Nirvana (“There were better bands at that time.”), and they watched a few episodes of I Love Lucy.

“Now, here’s where we get interesting. Let me introduce you to the world of Harry Potter!” she cried as she brandished a DVD case.

“Whoa, there!” Tony said as he stepped out of the elevator. “That’s a deep hole to dig, Hayden.” She stuck out her tongue at him and turned to Steve. Although he might’ve been experiencing a culture overload, he didn’t complain. She felt bad; she was kind of overwhelming once she got started. Not to mention, she was pretty annoying when she droned on and on about nerdy stuff.

“Yeah, sorry, Steve. You… don’t wanna hear about this nerdy stuff,” she said, letting the DVD case drop to the couch.

“No, I do.”

“No, it’s alright, really.” Hayden got up and put the case back in it's spot on the shelf. There were many reasons Hayden hated herself and her blathering nature was one of them.

Sam always assured she was being passionate and it was cute but Hayden could never believe her. Some severe self-esteem issues to be worked on of course but who had the time for therapy between work and class? “I’ve overstayed my welcome. Thanks for having me.” Hayden snatched up her bag, ignoring whatever they called after her.

Back at home, she had pushed the incident to the back of her mind and was making dinner. Music flowed throughout the room and drowned out most of her thoughts. She was such a walking cliche. She always wore black, dyed her hair crazy colors, and listened to alternative music. She was 25 and she still acted like a middle schooler. Pathetic.

Out of everything Hayden hated though, she could always be proud of her mind. Hayden was predispositioned to be intelligent. She always wanted to learn new things and could be counted on to remember those things. Countless surfaces in her apartment were covered with books of all kinds.

“Hayden, didn’t you hear me knocking?” Sam asked right by her ear. Her best friend’s blue eyes were alight with happiness. Sam was so pretty with short red hair and flawless skin and perfect teeth but Hayden had never been jealous. Anything that Sam got, she was happy about; Sam deserved the world in Hayden’s eyes.

“Um, of course not. All I’ve been hearing for the past twenty minutes is Gerard Way.” Sam grinned and headed over to the table. “Are Charlotte and Mikey coming over tonight?”

“Yeah, they’re on their way.”

The four of them had been friends since high school and by fate ended up in New York together. It was amazing how much she loved all of them. With them, she felt like she truly belonged. She never felt annoying or loud or obnoxious.

“How was work?”

“It was work. I went over to Stark Tower after.”

“And?”

Hayden stared into the pot of pasta, letting the spoon clank to the side of the pot. Her shame and embarrassment came flooding back. How stupid could she be? Hayden explained to Sam what happened. The admonishment came right away.

“You’re not annoying, Hay, I promise. You’re passionate. I bet they all think that too.”

Hayden didn’t react. Sam sighed and started getting bowls out. “Besides, who doesn’t want to hear about Harry Potter? Have him read the books and then he can take the sorting test. I bet he’s a Gryffindor.” Sam smiled wildly, a light in her eyes. Sam always knew how to cheer Hayden up.

“No way,” Hayden responded. “He’s way too ambitious. He’s a Slytherin.” Their house feud had been going on since high school. They were always trying to recruit new troops to their team to prove which house was better.

“Hey, bitches!” someone shouted, walking into the apartment. Charlotte was a tall, slender woman with dark brown hair pulled back into a ponytail and bangs brushing the tops of her eyebrows. Mikey, even taller than her, followed close behind.

“You gotta start locking that door,” Mikey called. He immediately started preparing drinks, asking each person what they wanted.

Hayden reached over to hug them, cranked up the music, and served herself a portion of pasta. They all crowded at her small kitchen table, bumping elbows and knees, but no one minded. If they had it their way, they would never be apart.

Hayden’s self-deprecating thoughts were washed away by the laughter of her friends and the vibration of the music. The only reason she was turning red now was because she laughed too hard. She only ducked her head to think of good comebacks. She had never felt more at home.

 

\---

 

When Hayden arrived at Stark Tower with arms laden with snacks, she found that the main room was empty. She set the food on the table with a thump. If Hayden had brought all these snacks and movie night was canceled and no one told her, she was gonna be pissed. 

The lab was empty too. There was no national crisis or breaking news to suggest that they’d been called out on a mission so where the hell were they?

Everyone turned out to be in the control room. It was buzzing with activity and voices. Everyone was suited up which worried her. Of course, if she wasn’t supposed to be there then someone would kick her out but no one made a move towards her.

“Let’s try here and- Hayden?” Steve asked, straightening up from where he was bent over something on one of the tables. “What are you doing here?”

“Movie night. I brought snacks. What’s going on?” Steve cast a look over his shoulder. Hayden noticed that he was in his stealth suit too. Something must’ve gone wrong. He jerked his chin back towards the table and Hayden followed.

He pointed at a spot on what appeared to be a layout of several floors of the tower. “We found a bomb here. We’ve got people working on it but the bombers disappeared. They haven’t left the tower and we can’t find them.” Hayden leaned her elbows on the table and started chewing at her cuticles. While her mind raced, she could hear Steve barking out orders.

She pulled the map closer to her and looked over it. Something wasn’t making sense; people don’t just disappear into thin air. She had to assume that agents had swarmed every location they could think of.  _ Okay, so think of the one place they didn’t. _

Maybe the vents, maybe they did actually leave, maybe… The answer hit her all at once.

“Send all the agents out of here,” she said without looking up. When no one responded, Hayden straightened up and put a hand on Steve’s arm. “Send all the agents out of here. Get them on every floor or at least as many as you can, all except one.” His blue eyes bored into hers, making her feel like shrinking back, but finally, he nodded and started sending agents to certain floors.

As they all vacated the room, Hayden explained her reasoning. “They have eyes on the agents. They might even have access to the security cameras. They’re just dodging them. If you have agents on every floor but one you’re flushing them onto that floor.”

“But you can’t be sure.”

“They have no access to the vent system. You said they didn’t leave. If they can see where the agents move, it’s a matter of running down the stairs as they come up the opposite side.” As soon as she finished her sentence, she bolted for the elevator.

“Where are you going?” Steve called, jogging behind her.

“I’m going to see if I can help with this bomb.” The doors slid shut between them just in time. Hayden was relieved to not have Steve along with her because, even though his presence put her at ease, he would have made her stay behind.

The elevator opened on the lab with several agents in it. They barely glanced at her. Hayden’s mind was still racing as she jogged around. Her mind did calculations on the fly as she quickly but steadily poured solutions and mixed. When she was done, she was left with a 1 N solution of sodium hydroxide.

Her next stop was the bomb itself. It was on a floor that Hayden had never been on. Tony and Banner were in the corner of the room, mumbling to each other.

“Hey, guys. Would this help at all?” she asked, holding up her solution. Both men glanced at her and then each other. Some silent interaction took place between them but Hayden couldn’t pick up on it. “Statistically the explosive charge in most bombs is nitroglycerin so-”

“Hayden, thank you so much. But let me do it, okay?” Tony asked, standing and walking over to her. The Iron Man suit, which Hayden realized was idling by a couch, leaped into action and surrounded Tony’s body. Cold metal fingers brushed hers as he took the container from her.

“It’s a normal solution,” she called after him.

“I’m gonna need you to get out of here just in case it goes off, Hayden,” Tony said without looking at her. She wasn’t opposed to that sentiment. However as she headed back towards the elevator, a deafening bang sounded, quickly followed by a sharp pain in her side. Hayden stumbled and caught herself on an armchair.

“Are you okay?” someone shouted. A ringing had started in her ears and it was hard to stand up straight. When Hayden looked down, she saw a trickle of blood start down her left leg and a similar one coming from her arm.

“Hayden!” Banner yanked her up by her biceps and looked her over. Tony was quick to follow, looking on the brink of tears. His hands ghosted over where Hayden could finally see three nails embedded in her skin. “Get someone up here,” Tony ordered, getting Hayden to sit down.

The ringing had started to subside. “Tony, I’m fine. It’s a flesh wound.” Her muscles didn’t agree with that as she moved her left arm.

“I just- I didn’t think it would go off and-”

“Tony, it’s okay.” He nodded but it was very much not okay. “They probably had some remote device to detonate it,” she mumbled, examining her wounds.

No sooner had she finished her sentence then Banner came back into the room followed closely by two medics. As they worked on her, she could see Tony pulling back. When she extended a hand, he flinched away.

Needless to say, movie night was canceled.

 

\---

 

“Hayden, that’s your laptop?” Tony asked from the next table over. Hayden had smacked her laptop and sighed in frustration for the third time in twenty minutes.

“Yeah, it keeps freezing up and I have a paper to write,” she grumbled.

“Hayden, I just gave you a table!” She called out a quick thanks to Iliana before standing up. Hayden had no time for anything anymore. She hadn’t been to Stark Tower in almost a week which was big for her, considering her pattern in the past six months. She’d work a long shift and drive over to Stark Tower and pass out on the couch before being woken up to eat and study and chat. But now with finals approaching, she was spending all her time studying or working.

Between her check-ups on her tables, Hayden pored over her notes and highlighted texts. It wasn’t a perfect system but she was learning and that’s what mattered right?

“Hayden, are you coming over after your shift?”

“Um, probably not…”

“Please? There’s something we really have to show you.” Hayden refilled Clint’s coffee with a sigh. It was probably important but so were her studies...

“Fine. I’ll be over after my shift.” Hayden got off an hour later than she was supposed to. Although she wasn’t working the graveyard shift anymore, daytime hours meant that she could very well go over the clock. The drive filled her head with white noise as exhaustion started to take over.

_ “Mr. Stark has requested that you meet him on the 85th floor,”  _ FRIDAY said as she stepped into the elevator.

“Okay. Take me up, please.” The ride was a short one but her mind raced all the while. The 85th floor was one of the residential ones. If she remembered right, the 85th floor was where Steve stayed.

When she emerged, she was surprised to see that the lounge had been completely renovated. The wall to her right was covered in floor-to-ceiling bookshelves with a few armchairs in front of them. The back wall held a row of computers mounted on huge windows. A few steps led down to a den where a couch, coffee table, a sound system, anything needed for comfort were on her left.

“This place looks amazing, Tony,” Hayden said, stepping forward. His dark eyes lit up and he motioned for her to follow him. They stopped in front of a black, nondescript door. Hayden stood there, rocking back and forth before asking, “Well? We just gonna sit here?”

“Ask FRIDAY to open it.”

“Um, okay? FRIDAY, open the door please?” The door slid open with a hiss revealing a bedroom. The king sized bed was dressed with black sheets and black blankets and black comforters. The desk and bookshelves and the sound system and computer and TV were all black. The walls were a shade of lavender and fairy lights were strung up on the ceiling. It was gorgeous and oddly specific.

“Tony, what’s-”

“It’s yours. All of it. The lounge out there too.” Tears sprang to Hayden’s eyes before she could stop them. Of course it was all for her. Everything was black, the sound systems were state of the art and probably filled with her favorite music. When she looked closer at the bookshelves, she saw not only biology books but YA literature, the exact type that she loved.

“Oh my god,” she said. “Tony, I… this is too much.”

“I don’t see why it is. You’re definitely in need and if you know anyone else who needs it, they can use the lounge. Besides, you’re far too intelligent to stay in a restaurant your whole life.”

Hayden’s heart was full to bursting. He did this all for her. No one had ever given her so much. No one had ever seen so much in her. Hayden’s hands roamed over the books on the shelf, feeling the indentations of the letters on their spines. Textbooks she couldn’t buy, studies she had only heard about, theoretical ramblings from past scientists.

She couldn’t speak. Her chest was growing tight and when Hayden opened her mouth all that came out was a sob.

Hayden whirled around and hugged Tony with all she had. The metal plate in his chest cut into her cheek but she couldn’t care less. “Thank you so much,” she sobbed. Something in the back of her mind whispered that she was being a big baby. The majority of Hayden’s mind was saying that the universe owed her something nice every once in a while.

“Thank you so much. Really.” They moseyed back down to where the others were. Natasha greeted her with a knowing smile.

“Did you like it?”

“She cried,” Tony said, brushing past her. Hayden stomped her foot in mock anger. She was still in that obnoxious red dress and god-awful white flat-bottomed shoes. She much rather preferred her black clothes but she’d have to settle. “There are clothes in your room already,” Tony chimed in from where he was pouring himself a cup of coffee. Hayden raised an eyebrow at Natasha but she needed no urging. The spy was in the elevator pressing the button before Hayden could even run back in.

While they looked over the new selection of clothes, a sudden thought occurred to Hayden. “Oh my god,” she groaned, “I’m Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman!”

“I’m pretty sure Tony doesn’t want to sleep with you,” Natasha laughed from the closet. She plonked a pair of heeled boots on the dresser. “And if he did, this wouldn’t be how he would ask.” They both laughed at that.

Natasha tossed another piece of clothing at her and turned back to the closet. There was an undeniable air of excitement about her. “So do you never do this? Hang out and fawn over clothes or boys or anything like a regular human woman?” Natasha’s green eyes glinted with something that was gone too quickly to decipher.

“You see any other girls here? Sharon, Steve’s old flame, got transferred to the CIA.” Hayden wondered about Sharon. Steve’s old flame? She thought that was Peggy. Something surged up in her chest but she was quick to stomp it out as Natasha continued on. “Most agents are too scared of me. It’s just me and the boys.”

Hayden finished folding the jeans she had just taken off. “Ridiculous. I’m so tired of men.”

“Don’t let any of them hear,” Natasha said, her voice muffled by clothes. “They all adore you; you might break their hearts.” Hayden rolled her eyes but something about Natasha’s statement bothered her.

Sure, she was good friends with Steve and they sometimes flirted. Plus there was that whole Halloween incident. But that didn’t mean much in the grand scheme of things. And she and Bucky had danced together a few times but again, small things. Tony had given her a whole floor of a building and holy shit Natasha was right.

“Tony, sure, for my brains. Guy’s totally grooming me to be in the lab. All of this,” she gestured with a dress, “proves that. But Bucky? Steve?” Natasha whirled and stared her down. It was a stare that asked if she was an idiot and Hayden was tempted to say yes.

“You are so blind,” she chuckled.

“What do you mean?” Hayden asked. She didn’t answer but kept sorting through clothes with a smirk on her face. “C’mon, Nat, what do you mean?”

“Put this on. We’re gonna be late for dinner.”

They finally made their way down to the main room. Hayden’s new heels gave her a few inches in height and even she had to admit that she looked good in the dress Natasha had found.

When the doors opened, Steve stood up from the table to greet them. He pecked Natasha on the cheek but paused when he saw Hayden.

“What? The style? I guess it is kinda like the forties, huh?” Just as quickly as it came, the blush on his cheeks was fading.

“If we were actually back in the forties, you would have a line of fellas out the door waiting to dance with you,” he said, his Brooklyn accent coming back. A hint of nostalgia in his eyes gave way to a soft sadness. Now it was Hayden’s turn to blush.

“Speaking of fellas,” someone said from the other side of Hayden, “you look far too beautiful to sit alone, Miss Alexander.” Bucky stepped forward with a devilish smirk, grabbed her hand, and kissed it. A giggle escaped her on instinct. “Care to sit with me?”

Hayden glanced up at Steve. He looked amused by his friend’s offer so she decided to take it one step further. “I would love to.” What had started out as a small ball of warmth in her chest was encasing her whole body as the dinner wore on.

At the end of the meal, Tony stood up with his glass. “A toast! To Hayden Alexander! She works hard day in and day out taking care of those who take care of everyone else. She was also the one to figure out where the bombers were and put herself in harm's way to help deactivate the bomb. One of the most brilliant minds I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. I don’t know where we’d be without her but I know that it would be a dark place. To Hayden.”

For the second time that night, Hayden almost burst into tears. Although she was surrounded by different people and different settings, she finally,  _ finally  _ felt at home in Stark Tower.

“Can I walk you up to your room?” Steve asked once she started towards the elevator.

“Won’t be much of a walk, but by all means.” They walked to the elevator in comfortable silence. Over time, she’d grown to be most comfortable around Steve. Something about him radiated stability and warmth and light. Of course, she knew he wasn’t like that all the time but it helped ground her when she needed it. She knew that he was haunted by some things in his past just as she was haunted by hers. It was one of those unspoken things that happened among people with messy presents and even messier pasts.

“What you said earlier about me having a line of fellas… were you being honest?” Half of Hayden wanted an answer to her question; the other half wanted to hear that Brooklyn accent again.

“Back in my day, wasn’t much to do at night but to go out to the bar. I saw a lot of girls there who didn’t look even half as good, doll,” he said with a smile. The vernacular and accent made Hayden’s knees weak. It was illogical because how could a person be attracted to an accent but all the same…

“Back in my day, people never said anything like that. Not even one of my boyfriends. Odd, right?” Try as she might, Hayden just couldn’t keep the tremor out of her voice. Out of her periphery, she saw Steve look down at her with concern.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” The elevator doors opened and her first instinct was to say no. A hard no and a quick run to her new room.

“Sure.” Hayden walked into the room ahead of Steve, refusing to look at him. She slipped her heels off and curled up under a blanket on the couch, clutching a pillow to her chest.

The thumps of her heart were deafening. She  _ hated  _ talking about her feelings in general and her past even less. But it was a hurdle to overcome in even the closest of her friendships; Sam was the only person who knew everything. With Steve, it didn’t feel like a hurdle but more like a small hop and she just had to push through it and accept the consequences.

Maybe she would just… tell him a part of it. Baby steps, right? Maybe if it came out in parts he would have an easier time understanding.

Steve sat down with one leg folded under himself to face her. With his blue eyes trained on her, the impulse to apologize and excuse herself was strong.  _ No, don’t be a pussy, just do it. _

“So I have anxiety right?” He nodded. “Well, a lot of it is about people’s perceptions of me. I’m always so afraid that everyone around me actually hate me and is lying about it. It’s not logical of course but…” Hayden trailed off, not knowing how to finish her thought.

“You’re a logical person; you want everything else to be the same way,” Steve said. She was surprised, to say the least. That was it exactly but she never knew how to say it. Hayden’s death grip on the pillow loosened a bit. “But you said something about an old boyfriend? How does that fit in?”

And Hayden told him. She glossed over the ugliest parts and made everything sound a lot nicer than it was. Despite that, she still felt her burden lessen. Of course, that meant that Steve was carrying whatever was shucked off of her shoulders. So Hayden asked about him. And he answered. It was simple and truthful and straightforward. Question, answer. Question, answer. To Hayden, it was beautiful.

 

\---

 

Hayden stood in the kitchen on the main floor, clad in only a flannel and spandex shorts, dancing along to her music. FRIDAY assured her that only Steve and Natasha were in the building and they were both sound asleep. Her batter was on the stove and the strawberries she was cutting up were looking delectable. Life was good.

Life got even better when Steve walked in still in his pajamas. The sight of his bare arms caused Hayden’s heart to do a little dance but she ignored it. “Morning, Hayden.”

“Morning!” she chirped. The smile on her face must’ve been ten miles wide and looked stupid to boot but she was so happy.

“Did you win the lottery or something while I was asleep?” Steve joked, reaching around her to grab a mug from the cabinet.

“Well, I became friends with you guys. It’s basically the same thing.” She continued to dance along to the music as she scraped the strawberries into a bowl. Idly she wondered about different colors to dye her hair next. “Hey, Steve,” she called. He raised an eyebrow for her to continue. “What color should I dye my hair?”

He looked her over for a moment, plopping his chin in his hand. “Um… blue?”

“Patriotic,” Hayden teased. He chuckled but didn’t look away. When she opened a cabinet under the island, she was greeted by several pistols instead of kitchen appliances. “Wow. You guys are well prepared.” She snatched one up and examined it. “It’s a good gun. Glocks are ugly as hell but no one gets the job done better.” Safety off, click, pull back, click again, magazine out, check, magazine back in, pull forward, aim.

“You sure know a lot.”

“I took a few classes when I was a kid. Taught a few too.”

“Looks like we picked the right roommate.” Steve raised his mug in a toast to her. She laughed and rolled her eyes.

“Do you want pancakes? I have extra batter,” she offered, sliding her own onto a plate. He stood up and padded over to her, grabbing the spatula from her.

“You’re always serving me. I think I can handle this.”

“What a gentleman.” Hayden bumped him with her hip and sauntered over to the table. One skill she’s grateful for is the ability to stack like no one else. It made for a cool party trick at least.  _ Speaking of… _

Hayden pulled up her schedule on her phone. Recently her shift manager had been giving her fewer shifts. She used to be a regular on the graveyard shift until she was moved to three to eleven until she was moved to nine to five. It was annoying, to say the least; she never was a big fan of change. Hayden let out an agitated sigh and sipped her coffee.

“Okay, that’s enough of that.” A hand reached down to pluck her phone from her hands. As Steve stashed it away on the kitchen counter, he said, “You’re just stressing yourself out. Take a break.”

“My break was last night.”

“I’m extending it.”

Hayden rolled her eyes and mumbled, “Okay,  _ Captain. _ ” She hid her smirk in her coffee at hearing Steve choke on a bite of his pancakes. “So what’s the agenda for today?” Steve slid into the seat across from her and, for a second, it was so easy to imagine that this was how things had always been. Like she and Steve had always sat down at this square table after preparing breakfast, talking about their plans and the most mundane things and joking.

“Well, I was actually thinking-”

_ “Captain Rogers, there are intruders on level 72. Engaging Protocol 24.”  _ Steve straightened up and pushed his chair back. Hayden didn’t sit still either. Her first move was towards the gun cabinet but a steel grip on her arm yanked her back.

“Hayden, get back to your room. Lock the door. Stay there until I come and get you. Tell FRIDAY the password is Maria,” Steve ordered. He hesitated for a second, eyes locked on hers, before sprinting away.  _ Okay, sure, but let me get a gun first. _

As she was standing up, the windows exploded. The first thing she felt was the sharp pain on being cut; the second thing was the need to get behind cover. Her heart raced as she jumped over a sofa and crouched behind it.

“Clear! Captain Rogers isn’t here.”

Seizing her chance, Hayden knelt upright to fire three times at the closest figure to her.

“Hostile is in the room, repeat, hostile is in the room!” Three more shots and she ducked down again, barely avoiding a wave of gunfire. Hayden’s mind buzzed with trying to make sense of the situation when she saw the barrel of a gun edge around the couch. On instinct, she emptied her clip into the soldier, stopping only when it clicked.

_ So get another one.  _ The problem with her brilliant strategy was that there were still three men between her and the kitchen.

“Hey!” someone called. Steve had entered the room with his shield but still in his pajamas. He ran forwards, grappling with one of the soldiers while the others tried to get in on the fight. Hayden was crawling around the sofa, flinching every time she heard one of the men make a noise. One of the soldiers wrested Steve’s shield from him and tossed it behind him.

_ That. There. Go.  _ With a new plan of action, Hayden stumbled up and sprinted over to pick up the shield. No wonder Steve was so buff; it weighed a ton. As strong as Hayden was, she knew there was no way she could hold it up much less fight with it. She also knew that there was no way she was gonna let Steve go this alone.

The closest soldier seemed to sense Hayden before she got too close. He turned and backhanded her across the face. A sharp pain blossomed across Hayden’s cheek, causing her to falter. It gave the soldier enough time to place a well-aimed kick into her ribs. Hayden fell to her knees.

Out of the corner of her eye, Hayden saw the soldier turn and aim his gun at Steve. Her reaction was almost instinctive; she leaped up and shoved the gun upwards, sending the bullets into the ceiling.

With a few well-placed hits that soldier was on the ground too. When the room had fallen silent, Steve turned on Hayden with what she had dubbed his “battle face.”

“I told you to get to your room!”

“I was going! The soldiers made it hard to get there,” Hayden snapped. Her mind was still going at a thousand miles a minute. She snatched up all the guns in the room and placed them in the far corner. Noticing Steve’s look, she said, “If any of these guys wake up, do you want them to still have their guns?”

Hayden surveyed the scene once more and noticed bloody footprints that trailed her. “Aw, man.” Something sticky dripped down her leg. At some point, she’d gotten syrup on her new flannel. “Aw,  _ man! _ ”

The elevator dinged and in a flash, Steve had his shield and shoved Hayden behind him. “It’s alright, Captain. It’s us!” Agents streamed out from the elevator, rounding up the soldiers, ascertaining who was dead. “The rest of the Avengers are on their way. We can take Miss Alexander-”

“No need. I can take her.” Steve plopped his shield on the counter, scooped something up, and turned his back on Hayden. “Hop on.” She jumped up and forwards, wrapping her legs around Steve’s waist as securely as she could.

He walked her over to the elevator, hands clutching her thighs. She still must’ve been buzzing with adrenaline because she could feel every little jostle, every one of Steve’s breaths, how his muscles shifted when he changed grip to be able to hold her more solidly. It was exhilarating in a strange way.

The infirmary was stark white and smelled disgustingly of antiseptic although Hayden wasn’t sure what she was expecting. The blood on her legs looked too bright against her skin, the edges where her shirt met the sheets too sudden, the trickle of blood down her chin tickled but she couldn’t bring herself to wipe it away. That guy must’ve split her lip when he smacked her.

Crawling had been a stupid idea; shards of glass were embedded in her knees. The more time that passed the more Hayden cursed herself for not running when Steve told her too but it seemed so cowardly to stand by and let things happen to her. The gun had been a way to take control of a situation that had been spiraling. If by some chance, she had run and hidden and the soldiers had gotten past Steve and FRIDAY and her steel door, then she would not be found hiding or unarmed.

The pain in her knees wasn’t so bad as Hayden was more fascinated by the feeling and look of the tweezers under her skin. Her philosophy was that if she focused on facts when she was scared, she wouldn’t be scared anymore. It was hard to be afraid of soldiers in your living room when you were thinking about tactical formation possibilities or the type of guns and bullets they were using. But then the nurse moved to her feet where she couldn’t see and man, did it get worse.

“Ow!” she shouted, yanking her foot away.

“Miss Alexander, please stay still. I know it hurts.” Hayden squirmed and grimaced for the first three minutes. The pain was so sharp where the tweezers were digging in but also entirely along the bottoms of her feet.  _ Walking on glass does that to you, idiot.  _ Imagine getting a tattoo but seven times worse because they weren’t just scratching you but they were jabbing in and digging around in the same spot until they were satisfied. Hayden’s hands clenched on the sheets, groans escaping her clenched teeth every so often.

“Hayden, I’m right here, you’re doing great. They’re gonna start on the other foot now.” Steve’s face appeared above her own, his brow creased with worry. She was tempted to hold her hand out for him to hold.

“Make sure that the next- ow!- time soldiers break into the lounge that… that you carry me to my room s-so I don’t do anything stupid like this,” she gritted out. When Steve finally cracked a smile, the pain didn’t seem so bad anymore.

 

\---

 

“How is she?” Natasha asked as soon as Steve stepped out of the infirmary.

“Bitter that she can’t walk for a few days. She was cracking jokes though so I’m sure she’s fine. She’s a fighter,” he said wistfully. Natasha chuckled and reached up to pat his shoulder.

“You sure know how to pick ‘em, Steve.”

_ It was one in the morning when Steve walked into Maria’s Kitchen. He was greeted by Iliana, the charming hostess, who told him to sit wherever he wanted. “Just get back from a mission?” she asked as she put a menu in front of him. _

_ “No, just felt like dropping by,” he answered with a thin smile. From what he could tell, Iliana was a pretty perceptive girl and she proved it by letting the subject drop. _

_ “Morning, Steve,” Hayden called as she strolled up with her notepad. “What can I get for you?” _

_ “Just a coffee would be great.” Although he extended the menu for her to take, she just stared at him. Hayden had developed this way of looking at him like he was transparent, like she could see everything inside of him. Her eyes skirted over his face before settling on making eye contact. His heart jumped in his chest when she did. _

_ “I’ll be right back with that,” she said at last, taking the menu and walking away. It had only been about three months since they’d met but already Hayden was becoming someone he didn’t want to be away from for very long. She was witty, sarcastic, intelligent, but in these moments when it was just her and Steve it was like she changed. She was more relaxed, more honest, more present, more open. _

_ There was always a curtain over Hayden’s eyes and she clutched her jokes to her like armor. But somehow, in the late hours of the night, they would always meander into some kind of deep conversation and that curtain would be gone. The glimpses of the person behind the curtain were few and far in between but he cherished the times that he saw that person. A part of him wanted to grab that person and yank her out to center stage; the other part of him sympathized with wanting to hide. _

_ Hayden returned with two mugs and sat down across from him. _

_ “What’s the topic of the night? Aliens? Mortality? Time?” he asked. Hayden shrugged and sipped her coffee. _

_ “Whatever you want. Sometimes it helps just to have another person with you even if you’re not talking. I’ve been there before,” Hayden said before taking another drink. Steve stared at her, trying to puzzle out what she meant. _

_ “Where’s there?” _

_ “Nightmares.” There was that person again, like the man behind the green curtain in Wizard of Oz. “Although mine were mostly about one person in particular. I’m assuming yours are a lot more harrowing.” A small smirk graced her lips and Steve couldn’t help but feel his do the same. _

_ “No, I definitely understand the one person part.” _

_ With that same small smirk, Hayden extended her mug for cheers. “We sure know how to pick ‘em, don’t we?” _


	3. Chapter 3

_ It was one in the morning when Steve walked into Maria’s Kitchen. He was greeted by Iliana, the charming hostess, who told him to sit wherever he wanted. “Just get back from a mission?” she asked as she put a menu in front of him. _

__

_ “No, just felt like dropping by,” he answered with a thin smile. From what he could tell, Iliana was a pretty perceptive girl and she proved it by letting the subject drop. _

__

_ “Morning, Steve,” Hayden called as she strolled up with her notepad. “What can I get for you?” _

__

_ “Just a coffee would be great.” Although he extended the menu for her to take, she just stared at him. Hayden had developed this way of looking at him like he was transparent, like she could see everything inside of him. Her eyes skirted over his face before settling on making eye contact. His heart jumped in his chest when she did. _

__

_ “I’ll be right back with that,” she said at last, taking the menu and walking away. It had only been about three months since they’d met but already Hayden was becoming someone he didn’t want to be away from for very long. She was witty, sarcastic, intelligent, but in these moments when it was just her and Steve it was like she changed. She was more relaxed, more honest, more present, more open. _

__

_ There was always a curtain over Hayden’s eyes and she clutched her jokes to her like armor. But somehow, in the late hours of the night, they would always meander into some kind of deep conversation and that curtain would be gone. The glimpses of the person behind the curtain were few and far in between but he cherished the times that he saw that person. A part of him wanted to grab that person and yank her out to center stage; the other part of him sympathized with wanting to hide. _

__

_ Hayden returned with two mugs and sat down across from him. _

__

_ “What’s the topic of the night? Aliens? Mortality? Time?” he asked. Hayden shrugged and sipped her coffee. _

__

_ “Whatever you want. Sometimes it helps just to have another person with you even if you’re not talking. I’ve been there before,” Hayden said before taking another drink. Steve stared at her, trying to puzzle out what she meant. _

__

_ “Where’s there?” _

__

_ “Nightmares.” There was that person again, like the man behind the green curtain in Wizard of Oz. “Although mine were mostly about one person in particular. I’m assuming yours are a lot more harrowing.” A small smirk graced her lips and Steve couldn’t help but feel his do the same. _

__

_ “No, I definitely understand the one person part.” _

__

_ With that same small smirk, Hayden extended her mug for cheers. “We sure know how to pick ‘em, don’t we?” _

__

It had been seven months since that conversation and six months since Hayden had become a regular inhabitant of Stark Tower. Somehow life without her seemed lonely now. 

__

When he returned to her bed, she’d been cleaned up. They’d given her a plain gray t-shirt and black shorts to replace her bloody, syrupy clothes. “Figure you might want this,” he said, holding up her phone. She reached out lazily to grab it and threw it beside her bed without turning it on. Her whole demeanor had changed; the adrenaline in her system was spent and she was crashing.

__

“Is it weird that I really liked the rush that gave me?” she asked, wrinkling her nose at her own question. Steve gave a small half-smile and shoved his hands in his pockets. In his own experience, he’d never enjoyed the adrenaline rush that was brought on by a battle. Every person was different though. “Like you hear about all these thrill seekers who do crazy things and you read all the studies but until you  _ experience  _ it…” Hayden trailed off and waved a hand. “Whatever. I’m rambling.”

__

Steve could listen to her rambling all day though. It was one of the times that the curtain lifted and he could see who she really was. Her passion was a force to be reckoned with and paired with her intelligence and her courage made her stronger than she was aware of.

__

“Hayden, what are you gonna do after college?” Steve asked. Hayden’s eyes turned up to the ceiling as she shook her head.

__

“I have no idea. I don’t really have a plan after I graduate. Why?” she asked, a sleepy smirk forming on her face. “You trying to recruit me, Steve?” He chuckled and shrugged. She seemed so at home at Stark Tower and imagining her in the control room took no effort. So much of his life recently had been focusing on the past that he found himself looking forward to the future. He wasn’t sure why but Hayden was a part of that future.

__

He noticed Hayden’s eyes shutting halfway before she jolted herself awake. She must be so tired; not everyone was built like a super soldier after all. “I’ll let you get some sleep,” he said. Hayden shook her head, her eyes drifting shut of their own accord.

__

“No, no, it’s fine.” The word ‘fine’ was marred by a huge yawn. Steve smiled and reached  to pull her blanket up. He impulsively leaned forward and kissed her forehead. When he pulled back, her eyes were closed and her breathing was even. She was asleep.

__

\---

__

For three days Hayden was confined to a wheelchair. Whenever someone offered to wheel her around she would glare at them. The only person she let touch her chair was that kid, Peter Parker. He would wheel her down the hallways super fast while he balanced on the back and she whooped with joy.

__

She was gifted with the ability to be on crutches just in time for the release of Sam’s first movie and the party she was throwing in honor of it. Sam had been planning this party for months, and Hayden’s outfit even longer: a tight black dress with a flowing cardigan. Unfortunately, Hayden couldn’t wear the heeled boots Sam had gotten for her so she traded them out for a pair of Converse with two pairs of socks.  _ They told me to wear padded stuff if I was gonna walk… yeah, this is fine.  _ She’d make it up to Sam somehow. It didn’t even look that bad.

__

Hayden peeked her head out of her door, making sure she couldn’t hear anything from Steve’s room or the lounge. Silence. Excellent. She started towards the elevator only to stop in her tracks.

__

“And where do you think you’re going, missy?” Steve was sitting on one of the couches, reading a book.

__

“Sam’s party.”

__

“Without your crutches?” Hayden sighed and rolled her eyes. “Where even is it?”

__

“Brooklyn,” she replied. He shook his head in amazement. Even though he knew how resilient and stubborn Hayden was, it always surprised him when she would pull stupid stunts.

__

He stood up.  “And you’re gonna take the subway all the way to Brooklyn?” he asked.

__

“Yes. Did you think that sitting here like my dad was gonna stop me?” she said defiantly, standing her ground- well, leaning her ground. Her feet were throbbing the longer she stood there. Steve put a finger up in a signal for her to wait and disappeared down the hall into his room. He returned with a leather jacket slung over his arm.

_   
_ “Let’s go. I’m driving.” Hayden’s heart did a kickflip in her chest. He was driving? She’d been in a car with him before but now it was completely different. She had too many feelings for him. That whole celebrity crush thing definitely wasn’t going away any time soon. Sam’s voice rang out in her head:  __You don’t like him because he’s Captain Ame_ rica, you like him because- _

 

Hayden was quick to shut down that train of thought. It was just a celebrity crush and Hayden was a grown woman and she could very well handle her emotions, thank you very much. Steve ushered her out to the street. She looked around for the car but stopped dead in her tracks when Steve strode over to a motorcycle. Hayden’s jaw dropped. “You coming?” Steve smirked.  _ Shit. _

 

Steve got on and held the jacket out towards her. She slipped it on over her own; it smelled like soap and aftershave. Hayden awkwardly clambered on. Steve took a moment to turn and make sure she was situated.

 

“Hold on tight,” Steve called over his shoulder.

 

“I think I know how to ride on the back of a bike,” Hayden replied. She thought back to her childhood, taking turns riding on the back of her older sister’s motorbike. It hadn’t been as hefty or as powerful as this one but Hayden was sure it couldn’t be that different. 

 

“Okay,” Steve said as the bike roared to life. Hayden rolled her eyes; she could hear the smirk in his voice. The bike shot forward almost causing her to fall off. She gripped Steve’s shirt tighter. This was  _ nothing _ like a motorbike. Steve laughed.

 

When they got closer to Brooklyn, Hayden became more comfortable. She edged up a little bit more so she could set her chin on Steve’s shoulder rather than leaning up against him. She’d never seen the city lights out from the cover of a car and it was dazzling. Her gaze was trained upwards, watching the lights whiz by them. Her cheeks were becoming cold and numb with the wind but her body pressed up against Steve’s was warm as ever. Hayden felt utterly free as they weaved between cars and around traffic.

 

When they arrived at the party, music was blaring and lights danced off the roof, signaling the party was in full swing. “And what’s the party for?” Steve asked as they walked up to the front door.

 

“It’s Sam’s first movie release.” Hayden stepped inside the elevator, tucking her hands into her jacket pockets. She made a promise to herself to not abandon Steve over her friends; when she and her friends were with each other, they had a tendency to disappear into their own little world. They had gone on group dates that quickly went south because they talked to each other and not their dates. She couldn’t count the number of times group dates ended early with their partners leaving and the gang chilling at Sam’s.

 

When the elevator opened, it opened on a rooftop with tables, a dance floor, and a state of the art sound system all overlooking the East River. A loud squeal rang out as the elevator doors opened. Steve raised an eyebrow and glanced around at the state of the elevator but the sound didn’t come from that. Sam came charging out from the middle of the roof to wrap Hayden in a hug before she could even step out of the elevator.

 

“Congratulations!” Hayden squealed, hugging Sam back. When they separated and glanced at each other before they laughed and hugged some more. 

 

“How long has it been since you’ve seen each other?” Steve asked. 

 

“This morning, why?” Sam asked him. Steve didn’t know how to respond. 

 

“Steve, this is Sam,” Hayden introduced them. 

 

“I think we met at the last party,” Steve stuck out his hand to shake hers, but Sam was too distracted. Hayden resisted the urge to start talking about her day and work and her new room at Stark Tower. She forcefully turned Sam’s head to face Steve so that she would finally acknowledge the poor guy.

 

“It’s so nice to meet you! Thank you so much for coming!” She beckoned towards the outside and they followed her into the throng. “There’s refreshments and food over there. I know how much you love Fireball, Hay,” Sam said with a wink.

 

“Oh, not tonight,” she laughed. Hayden would be damned if Steve had to drive her all the way back to Stark Tower on a motorcycle while she was drunk off her ass. They started up a lively conversation although Sam’s gaze kept flicking to the crowd like she was searching for someone.

 

Hayden jerked her chin towards the dance floor. “Go find him,” she said. With a grateful glance, Sam disappeared into the crowd. She chuckled at her best friend and shook her head. There had been someone that she was ‘talking to.’

 

“Sam has a boyfriend?” Steve asked as they grabbed drinks from the bar.

 

“Not if you ask her. They’re ‘just talking,’” she scoffed. Steve chuckled along with her.

 

She and Steve leaned up against the railing, watching the party with the city lights at their backs. She bumped him with her shoulder.

 

“Hey, don’t be afraid to ask if you don’t understand something. No one will judge.” Hayden gave him a reassuring smile before pulling her jacket tighter around her. Her friends were an understanding group of people; there wasn’t anything they hadn’t seen before. Even those who she was only acquaintances with, she knew she could count on them to be understanding. 

 

Although Hayden expected to stay off to the sides, quietly sipping on her soda, a group formed around them. She was surprised, to say the least; although with the amount that Sam and her talk about each other it wasn’t all that shocking in hindsight. They started debating which psychological horror movie was better: Silence of the Lambs or Get Out. Sam and Hayden were staunchly for Get Out while a few of Sam’s co-stars were on the other side.

 

“I really think Get Out did a better job with affecting your subconscious than Silence of the Lambs did. Silence of the Lambs was just kind of creepy; Get Out really got under your skin and actually gave a very good representation of the microaggressions black people face in their everyday lives but that’s a whole different topic,” Hayden said all in one breath. As the other debater started up, Steve gently nudged her.

 

He didn’t even get two words out before Hayden pulling up the posters for the movies on her phone, briefly explaining each one. After her summary, she turned to Steve to see if he understood. He nodded at her and the debate continued. Steve even pitched in a few times, saying that he trusted Sam and Hayden on their movie knowledge. Something warm started to form in Hayden’s chest when she heard that.

 

The opening notes of one of Hayden’s favorite songs reached her ears and the debate dissolved as people went to dance. She turned to Steve, determined to not lose her confidence. “Wanna dance? I figure I owe you one since I ignored you on Halloween,” Hayden asked, holding her hand out. Steve grinned at her and took her hand.

 

“You definitely didn’t ignore me after the party but I still appreciate the gesture,” he said with a small smirk. Hayden playfully smacked him on the shoulder. Something in her was just so happy when Steve was around; it had been so long since she felt something like that.

 

They danced for a couple of songs but Steve got a phone call. Superheros can never get a day off, huh? Hayden kept looking over to see if he was alright. He glanced at her and rolled his eyes at whoever was on the other side of the call.

 

As he hung up, Hayden made her way over. She reached out as though to touch him but she stopped herself, letting her hand hang in the air between them. “Is everything okay?”

 

Steve sighed and shook his head. “I don’t know. They want me back at the tower as soon as possible.”

 

“Okay. Let’s go.”

 

“No, I don’t want to drag you away from the-”

 

“Steve, I understand. It’s an occupational hazard. Sam will understand too. Let’s go.” It was total bullshit: Sam would be so pissed but she’d make it up to her somehow. Hayden grasped his hand and started tugging him towards the elevator, calling out quick goodbyes as she left. Sure, she wanted to stay but she also wanted to make sure everything was okay back in Manhattan.

 

On the ride back, Steve pushed the speed limits and made some dangerous maneuvers that left Hayden clutching onto him for dear life. The elevator ride up was silent.

 

“If something’s really wrong, let me know?” she asked. Steve nodded. She patted him on the arm once before walking back to her room.

 

The doctor was right: walking around without crutches was a bad idea. Hayden’s feet were sore and stinging as she slipped off her shoes and socks. At least she wasn’t bleeding all that much. She went about her nightly routine, expecting Steve to be back soon, but he didn’t show. Half an hour passed. She waddled out to the lounge in her shorts, t-shirt, and fuzzy socks, but no one was there.

 

Hayden grabbed a book and settled in an armchair facing the elevator but she couldn’t focus. For every sentence she read, she looked at the elevator as if it would have opened without her noticing. 

 

What if someone was on a mission and was killed? What if intel was stolen? What if Steve had to go off on a mission for like six months? What if what if what if…

 

Three hours later, with much resistance from Hayden, she fell asleep.

 

\---

 

When Steve finally made his way back down to his floor, he saw Hayden curled up in a chair with one hand loosely grasping a book only half finished. She must’ve been waiting for him; Hayden read way faster than that. A pang of guilt went through his chest for not following through on his promise to give her an answer.

 

It wasn’t an answer either of them would like anyways. A month-long mission overseas with no contact with anyone in America. It was almost six months away but Tony and Bruce wanted to get the jump on modifying suits and weapons and getting in touch with other branches of SHIELD. Despite how far off the mission seemed, Steve knew that the time would pass in the blink of an eye. He would be separated from Hayden for a month. Who knows how much closer they could get over the course of six months?

 

Steve gently pried the book from her hand and scooped her up bridal style. She was so compact, almost like she was made to fit into his arms. He maneuvered Hayden into her room and under her covers.

 

“Steve… please…” Hayden mumbled as she shifted. Steve stopped in his tracks and stared at her sleeping form. His heart was going a million miles an hour waiting for her to say more. But she didn’t say anything else. After a few moments, he finally exited her room and left for his own.

 

Steve’s feelings for Hayden had grown and grown in a way that scared him. They had known each other for eight months and in that time they had gotten closer than he had anticipated. He always felt so displaced in this new world but Hayden made him feel like he was home. She was patient and understanding, especially when explaining these new things to him. She made sure he understood every reference, no matter how trivial. She seemed to know everything from politics to movies to history.

 

That night after the dinner party, he’d gotten the whole story about her and it only made him fall harder. The things she had fought through could’ve turned her bitter and hateful but she was one of the most compassionate women he’d ever known. 

 

Tomorrow. Tomorrow he would tell Hayden how he felt. After all, he was never one to run from his feelings.

 

\---

 

Hayden woke up, whipped up a swift breakfast, and inhaled it. She was gonna be late for work if she kept sleeping in so late. Hayden was buzzing around so much that she didn’t notice Steve walking in at first.

 

“Morning, Hayden,” he said. Something about him was unusually nervous. Hayden nodded and grunted in response, her mouth full of Eggos. “What are your plans for today?”

 

“Work, class, and more work,” she said through a mouthful of food. Her hands scrambled for the books on the counter. Steve looked downcast when she turned around; it was a little weird but not weird enough for her to stop. “Don’t look so down, Stevie. I’m sure your day will be as radiant as your smile.” Hayden kissed his cheek and ran off to the elevator. As the doors closed, she realized what she did. Steve stood there stunned. Hayden’s face as the elevator went down matched Steve’s to a T.

 

Flirting was always something Hayden had been good at but she was rarely ever really flirting with anybody. For some reason, she’d always been too afraid to seriously flirt with Steve. If she ever did, she was quick to make it like she was joking. Soon she wouldn’t be able to make it a joke anymore and that was what scared her.

 

For the next few weeks, she was busy running around with finals looming and the busiest time of year at Maria’s. She barely got time between everything to text Sam. At night when she returned to the tower she would inhale whatever she prepared for dinner and fall asleep. Steve was always trying to catch her at a good time but there was never a good time until after he was sent away on a mission.

 

When Hayden first became friends with the Avengers, she was worried for them on their missions, often wondering if she’d ever see them in her restaurant again. After a while, she stopped worrying because, hey, they’re the Avengers and they can handle themselves. But now… now she was constantly worrying when any of them went downtown, let alone on a mission.

 

Imagining one of them not coming home was too painful. What if she never got to work out with Bucky and Sam again? What if she never got to make Natasha laugh again? What if she never got to follow through on the movie marathon her and Wanda had planned?

 

The worry was enough to drive her insane so she took to working out while they were gone. Something about pushing herself was distracting enough that Hayden didn’t think about them. She was busy pounding away at a punching bag the way she’d seen Sam and Bucky do so many times with her music so loud that she didn’t notice she had a visitor.

 

“Wow, I wouldn’t want to be that bag.”

 

Hayden jumped. “Oh my god, Bucky, you scared me!” she gasped. A hint of a smile appeared on his face before disappearing. “What’s up?”

 

“I’ve never seen you do that before,” he answered with a gesture towards the punching bag. Hayden put a hand on it to stop its swaying.

 

“Oh, yeah,” she said, “I just wanted to stop thinking for a while and… this was the best way to do it, I guess.” Bucky’s eyebrows lifted and he nodded; he knew what she was feeling. When her anxiety got started, it kept going and going and going. Distracting herself wasn’t the best coping mechanism but it worked, right?

 

“Wanna actually learn how to fight?” Did she ever. Bucky began instructing her and she got the impression that this wasn’t his first lesson. Hayden threw herself into learning and practicing so vigorously it seemed to surprise Bucky a bit. When the lesson was finally done, she started to remove her gloves and noticed that her wrappings were stained with blood.

 

Bucky shook his head while he gathered supplies for her hands. A few stray hairs had escaped his ponytail, framing his face and making him look gentler. 

 

Hayden had a hard time seeing him as The Winter Soldier. All she could see when she looked at him was the gentleman who danced with her and talked her out of her embarrassment and then danced with her some more. He complimented her with abandon and enjoyed flirting as much as she did. He was always just Bucky.

 

Not to say that he didn’t have his moments where Hayden could see something different. James Barnes was a damaged man. Held prisoner and tortured and experimented on twice, risking everything to follow his best friend back into a war zone, trying to break free of whatever HYDRA had done to his mind. Bucky was as out of place as Steve.

 

“Following Steve back is the bravest thing I’ve ever heard anyone do,” Hayden blurted. His hands stilled on hers and she immediately regretted opening her mouth. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.” Hayden kept her eyes down, her cheeks turning red.  _ Why did you say that, idiot?!  _ It was silent for what felt like eons.

 

Bucky broke the silence by saying, “A lot of people don’t get it. They think it was stupid.”

 

“I get it. My best friend and I… we’re a lot like you and Steve.”

 

“You’d do something like that for her?”

 

“I’d do anything for her.” The words escaped Hayden almost against her will. When she finally met Bucky’s eyes, they smiled at each other. Few people could understand trust and devotion and loyalty that ran so deep that you’d do almost anything for the other person; it was comforting to find one that did.

 

These sessions continued on for weeks with every one leaving Hayden with the feeling that both her and Bucky were settling into an unfamiliar world. It gave them a different sort of connection, one that could easily be misconstrued by other people.

 

One day Steve went down to the training room to practice on his own. He saw Bucky and Hayden sparring before breaking down in laughter at something she had said. As he watched, Hayden reached up on her toes to give Bucky a hug and a quick peck on the cheek before walking over to her gym bag. Over the past few weeks they’d gotten a lot closer but Steve couldn’t muster any animosity for either of them.

 

Something twisted in his stomach. He decided against telling her.


End file.
